Ready to Uplevel Your Life?

diamond-crown-pin I’ve been thinking small.

That may sound shocking to some of you who have seen me do some amazing things over the past 6 months – tv show, pilot for a radio program, bestselling book to name a few – but, I just got back from an event with Alexandria Brown, the former “E-zine Queen” and now inspiration to women world-wide, where I came face to face with my small thinking.  And, it wasn’t pretty.

I’ve made a huge shift in my thinking and made the decision to let go of a lot of the little stuff that has been keeping me small.

Like what, you ask …

Small thing #1:  I’m not a mommy blogger.

Over the past 6 months, I’ve tried to fit in as a mommy blogger.  I went to BlogHer.   I became a blogging mom at LAMomsBlog.  I tried to fit in with the mommy blogging crowd on Twitter and even spoke on a mommy blogger panel.  In each and every instance, I felt out of place.  Like I didn’t fit in.  As we tend to do, I blamed myself.  I thought if only I did x better or y more, I’d be accepted. Um, no!  I wasn’t fitting in because that’s not who I am.

I’m building an empire, not a blog.

Small thing #2:  Email.

I cannot keep up with my email.  My inbox has gotten out of control.  I came back from Ali’s event to more than 400 emails in my inbox and that was with me checking my iPhone throughout the event and deleting.  300 of those emails had been read and were waiting response from me.   The other 100 were the ones I had not deleted from the iPhone because they needed more in depth review.  I am constantly checking my email and not working on my next book, not planning my next big thing, and not being present in my life.  I cannot do it anymore.

I will no longer be handling my personal email.  It’s getting turned over to one of my assistants.  So, don’t email me anything truly private.  Call instead.

Small thing #3:  Twitter.

I love to connect with people.  And so I found myself using Twitter in an unhealthy (for me) way.  I’ve heard Tim Ferriss talk and talk about how he uses Twitter as a way to send out real micro blogs that are useful and not as another inbox.  I thought that was good for him, but didn’t apply to me.  I was wrong.  It does apply to me.  I cannot afford to have another inbox.  It’s taking me away from my bigger purpose.

It’s been great for little things like meeting moms for networking, but the moms I was meeting are moms who are spending all day on Twitter, not moms who are building their empires.  Well, that’s not entirely true … Carrie Wilkerson (@barefoot_exec)  is a mom building an empire and Jessica Smith (@JessicaKnows) seems to be doing some big stuff and Gabrielle Blair (@designmom), co-founder of Kirtsy, definitely has some empire building going on, and I met them on Twitter.  But, I would have met Carrie or Jessica in some other way  that would take less of my mental energy if that was meant to be and I actually met Gabrielle at the conference where I was a mommy blogger panelist.

I can’t say I’m not going to tweet anymore, but it will be less and with awareness that I’m avoiding my bigger purpose.

Small thing #4:  Lawsuits.

As some of you may remember, I fired a pregnant woman who was working with my team back in April.  She had been stealing from me and disclosing confidential company information.  And, she sabotaged the sale of my law firm.  These things cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars. If not more.   And, now she has brought a labor board claim against me.  I was considering filing a lawsuit against her for the damages she caused.  Yes, I’ve invested time and money in having the complaint drafted and yes I could win and get a judgment against her, but what I know is that the greater cost of the lawsuit in terms of the time and energy I’d have taken away from building my future could be into the millions.

So, rather than investing another dime into her, I let go of the whole thing with one simple email to my lawyer “I have decided not to pursue the lawsuit at this time.  Thanks.”   No more stepping over dollars to get to dimes.

Small thing #5: Facebook.

I’ve spent an untold number of hours on Facebook looking up people from high school.  Embarrassing, but true.  Living in the past.  And not even a past I enjoyed.  High school was a nightmare.  Why in the world would I have any desire to go back there?

I’m not gonna do it anymore.

Each of these small things has taken time away from my bigger vision.  Time away from my kids.  Time away from my future.  I was so stuck in the middle of each of these things I didn’t even realize how I was cheating myself.

Then, I got to Ali Brown’s last ever Online Success Blueprint Workshop.

I almost didn’t go.  I had told myself I’m already successful on the internet.  I mean I’ve got a Twitter grade of 99.6 out of 100, a Twinfluence rank of 99% (as if these things actually mean anything) and thousands of people who subscribe to my weekly online magazine for parents who want financial freedom.  What else can I learn, right?  Ha!

(Hint: Anytime you find yourself saying “I already know that” – watch out, that’s your ego talking and it’s blocking your success in a big bad kind of way.)

Fortunately, I got over myself and admitted I’d been watching Ali from a distance for nearly 4 years, learning from the same mentors, attending the same events and LOVED the way she was putting what we were learning into action.   And, the event was going to be in LA.   And I was done letting my ego stand in the way of learning from a true master.

So, I bought the not inexpensive ticket and sprung for one for the COO of my company, too and dropped Ali an email that said “Ali, I’m coming.  Finally.”  She wrote back and told me to expect transformation.

Ooookaaaayyy, I thought.  I’m not sure how I’m going to get transformed at an internet marketing event, but ok, I’ll keep an open mind.

Well, guess what?  Ali delivered on her promise.

The transformation came not from the material, though you will see a huge shift in our websites over the coming 6 weeks based on what I learned at the workshop (I literally re-designed our websites and wrote all new copy while sitting in my chair at the conference); it came from watching Ali step into a whole new level of being at this event.

She launched a magazine, a boutique and an extraordinary coaching program (her Million Dollar Protégé Club) with the diamond level requiring a 6-figure investment to join – yes, you did read that right.  6 figures to join.

And, I applied.  As soon as I did, my mind expanded and I realized all of the ways I’d been sabotaging my dreams.  I’d been playing small.  And, I’m done with that.  I’m uplevelling my life in a big way.

Do you think I’m scared?  Yep, you betcha, yepper, mmhmmm.  Yes, I’m scared.

I’ve been up at 3am the past two nights in a row because my mind is going nuts.  But, I’ve also realized that over the past 6 months I’ve gotten into a comfort zone.  In that time, I havn’t cried even once.  I was starting to stagnate.  I was frequently grumpy and felt stuck.

Taking it out on Dave.  My team.  My kids.

Sure, from the outside everything looked great.  Million dollar businesses, happy kids, great relationship, beach house.  But, inside, I was dying.  And, I couldn’t figure out why.

All I knew was I was going numb again.  I spent a lot of time praying “God, please show me the way.”  Asking for guidance, my next teacher, guide, mentor and coach.

And she showed up and asked me for more than I was prepared to give.   (As Ali was introducing the Millionaire Protege Club, I was praying the elite Diamond level would have a less than $50,000 price tag …  it didn’t.)

And I said yes! (I’ll find out next week whether she said yes to me too – 20 women are applying for only 10-12 spots!!!)

I said yes to the bigger life I’ve been longing for, but been afraid to embrace.  I said yes to myself.

In the past 24 hours since I said yes, I’ve started feeling again.  I’ve cried (and laughed) at least every 3 hours over this time.  And, I’ve felt the total and complete support of the people closest to me.  The people who count.

I have no doubt there are people who will think I am insane for investing six figures in a coaching program.  People who think this is the time to save money.  People who think “how can she do that with the economy the way it is? Who does she think she is? You could feed so many families with that money.”

Those aren’t my people.  Or, they are the people who secretly wish they were my people, but are too afraid to uplevel their own life.

Yes, there is a lot that I could do with that money.  I could hire another person in my company.  I could do a lot of public relations or marketing.  I could put a down payment on real estate.  I could buy undervalued stocks.  I could tithe it to my church.  I could feed homeless people.  I could pay off some debt.  The list is endless.

But, here’s what I know.  There is no better investment I could make than investing in myself.  Than surrounding myself with other big thinkers who will help me turn that $100,000 investment into a billion dollars.  Imagine how I can change the world then …

The Intrepid Mompreneur is about living big.  And, I’m talking Oprah, Madonna, Bill Gates and Hugh Hefner big.  That’s the life I want.  That’s the life I deserve.  That’s the life I will have.

It’s about being afraid and doing it anyway.

And, I am.  How about you?

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25 Comments

Filed under Moving Beyond Fear

25 responses to “Ready to Uplevel Your Life?

  1. Nice writing. You are on my RSS reader now so I can read more from you down the road.

    Allen Taylor

  2. Good for you! It’s wonderful to see that there are other people in the world that are not happy with “comfortable.” Keep sharing–its inspiring.

  3. Congrats on your revelation, Alexis. I am thrilled for you. High fives & prayers sent your way! xoxo, alli

  4. Wiebs

    So true. I’m nervous but hungry. Hungry wins out every time.

  5. JJ

    I am right behind you sister….

  6. Alexis,
    You are such an inspirational person. You uplift all your readers to ‘THINK BIG & BE BIG’. There is more joy in doing that, than just letting life wash over one like a wave.

    It’s been nice interacting with you on both Twitter and Facebook. You are stepping it up to another level. We thank you for sharing so much. We will continue to cheer you on as you take on the BIG challenges ahead.

    The faith you have in yourself, even in the face of great odds sets an awesome example. To be scared and to reach out and take steps to realize ones dreams is a powerful and amazing realization. If each of the people who’s life you have touched did that, the world would be a transformed place.

    Best,
    David Damore

  7. Amen. I agree with you 100% and it feels like I could have written these words. I’m also incredibly inspired and motivated by Ali and have been for a while. If you are going to model anyone as a woman for your building-an-empire business, it’s her.

    Congrats to you–keep stepping into your greatness.

  8. Alexis –

    I’m so excited for and proud of you! Being in Ali’s Platinum for the past 2 years was the best investment I’ve ever made, and an experience that cannot be described in a blog comment.

    Isn’t it amazing how we can come so far and still have so much of an up-level to go? 🙂

    ~ Elizabeth

  9. As much as I appreciate your post, and approve the decision to engage in such a high profile coaching programme… I do not think it’s about making money or building an empire, to use your own words. It’s about being (true to) yourself and living your life fully! I mean, the empire and the money will not bring you happiness… (and you know that, I’m sure)

  10. Hello Dear Friend!

    Well, I am JOINING YOU!

    It is time to uplevel! Funny how you and I think soooo much alike. I think you wrote this about me and my life. As I read it, I was thinking…

    CHECK
    CHECK
    CHECK
    CHECK
    CHECK

    And, I wonder why I am tired and weary. I wonder why things have gotten out of hand when I have been doing things right.

    Sweet friend, first, I want to encourage YOU that you are great. You ARE a mighty vessel. You ARE SOoooo needed. Don’t settle for anything less.

    But, secondly, I have to say that you spoke the very words of my heart. I am going to join you. This will be my theme for the next year–beginning today!

    Let’s join hands and help one another to uplevel.

    Get ready! It is going to be AMAZING!

    Love ya!
    Cindy

  11. Thank you for sharing your valuable lesson of listening to your inner voice.

    We spend so much time following trends and trying to ‘fit in’ with others that we sometimes lose site of what really matters… Being true to ourselves.

    You covered so many crucial points for success throughout this post, but I would have to say that the most important thing that you stated was…

    (Hint: Anytime you find yourself saying “I already know that” – watch out, that’s your ego talking and it’s blocking your success in a big bad kind of way.)

    I’ve echoed that statement to my weight loss clients over and over again.

    The message that I am taking from your very open and transparent blog post, is to be comfortable with yourself, yet step outside of your comfort zone in order to experience success and grow as a person.

    If you are just going to settle for average you are wasting the valuable gift that you’ve been given… LIFE!

    We owe it to ourselves to be the very best that we can be.

    Alexis, your extraordinary efforts to become the best that you can be are a shining example to the rest of us and I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to express your thoughts and experiences with us.

    I wish you success and joy beyond your wildest dreams.

    Scott Tousignant
    http://www.FatLossQuickie.com/blog

  12. J.S.Bryan

    Thank you! Thank you for writing this! I needed this. I am going to be praying you get that spot!

  13. Alexis, I am so proud of how you are stepping out in such a BIG way. As you and I discussed in the hall at Ali’s event, we most certainly are not Mommy Bloggers – we are much much more than that. 2009 will be the year of playing big!!!

    I am also printing out this post so I can apply your new rules to my own life – especially Twitter. I think I’ve resisted Twitter because it did feel like just another overwhelming inbox. Using the clarity of your insight as a springboard, The Maverick Mom will be using it for something much bigger – and more meaningful.

    Can’t wait to hear about your Diamond seat in Ali’s group!

  14. Fantastic write-up, Alexis!! I am thrilled for your progress and growth. Whew, 2009 is going to be an incredible year for so many of us, eh?! It was such a pleasure to meet you in person and I look forward to staying in close contact with you and Laura Lee now. w00t!!!

    Cheers,
    @marismith

  15. Hey Ms. Lex,

    I’ll be praying for your acceptance into the elite club because…

    1. You deserve it!
    2. My next level is the million dollar mark, yours is the billion.
    3. I need you to go before me, and there will inevitably be someone following me.
    4. We must do this … for our daughters, our Dads, for us – for the world. YES! 🙂

    Will you call me on my cell after you get in?

    Love ya 2,
    Sanyika

  16. Alexis –

    You’ve provided some absolutely *awesome* insight into some of the misconceptions and challenges that exist in today’s world…..

    The most applicable piece that hit me “between the eyes” again has to do with e-mail. It’s absolutely amazing when you think about it because only a small fraction of business owners and entrepreneurs realize that they are literally drowning in their inbox.

    It’s literally a problem that is only growing yet realized by so few. And the more interesting thing is that we’re seeing that those who are noticing their productivity loss due to e-mail corresponds directly to the level of success that people have achieved. People of higher achievements and influence are typically the first starting to identify “e-mail jail”.

    So much so….that it prompted me to take personal action about 3 months ago and set-up an e-mail management system that took me from 2-1/2 hours per day down to less than 20 minutes. 🙂

    All of you other “uplevel” suggestions are great, too…..but your e-mail comment just continues to prove that e-mail is a major problem in today’s world.

    God Bless,
    Brad

  17. Jen Coffin

    WOW! You’re so inspiring…thanks for this, Alexis. xx

  18. Bari Vallas

    So I have been sitting back wondering when you were going to realize those ‘small things’ . . . (which are anything but ‘small’) but I’m pretty sure you needed to get there on your own time . . . and you have. That being said, I am going to be sending you an e-mail now and I hope you’ll read it!
    Love, Bari

  19. Alexis..I do imagine you are accepted into the elite diamondcoaching group with Ali. All of us benefit as you uplevel your game…
    We really do need one another to play our biggest game…so, we all benefit,right!
    As a result of your post today…I am inspired to hire someone to do respond to my e-mails,too so I can keep my mind focused on creating and generating more value for my clients.
    BTW, I think the most important daily vitamin we need to share is Vitamin E for Enthusiasm & Vit I for Inspiration…you shared both today and that is why you are co-creating an awesome life.
    cheers to your/our success!

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  21. Hi Alexis,

    I attended Ali’s event as well and your write up says it all! I also have printed this out as a constant reminder of where I am going!

    Thank you for putting my thoughts and feelings into words.

    Debbie
    @DebbieFranklin

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  24. Thank you for posting this. I am definitely signing up for everything you do. I have tears in my eyes…I’m afraid, but I’ve got to do it anyway…

  25. Dear Alexis,

    Thank you for the wonderful write-up! I applaud you from the bottom of my heart. I, too, attended Ali’s Workshop in November and came back with many of the same thoughts which you describe. I wondered if I was wrong to feel like this.

    I have known that feeling of not fitting in, yet tried my darnedest to prove that I did! I love your attitude ~ Give it up! Go where you do fit in! Do what YOU do. Follow your own star! Thank you Alexis!

    Letting go ~ for you it was 400 emails which you turned over to your assistants. For me it was parts of my work that I did not enjoy doing. There are parts of my business that I absolutely LOVE, and there are parts that I do not love, or even like. I came back from Ali’s event and hired 3 assistants to do those things I do not want to do.

    Twitter ~ I heard Mari Smith’s presentation at Ali’s event, and Bless her Soul for helping the rest of us understand the value of this time-consuming tool! Originally I thought it was just for fun, and after Mari’s magnificent talk, I realize I was using Twitter in the wrong way. Now, I spend less time Tweeting, and more time considering how I can actually put value out into the world and make real connections.

    Lawsuits ~ Fortunately I don’t have any lawsuits I am pursuing, however, I have identified several things that I considered “do or die” that, after returning from Ali’s conference, no longer have the same significance to them and have let them go, and have reprioritized things.

    Facebook & Old Acquaintances ~ Funny you should mention High School Friends! I have been to my 5, 10, 15, 20th and 25th class reunions. Next year is my 30th year class reunion, and I had decided I’m not going! Many will be surprised, but thanks to David, Ali, Mari, Alexis, Christine, and so many others, I am no longer in the same place I used to be, and my friends from 1980 wouldn’t recognize this new me anyway.

    And, last but not least ~ Ali’s Diamond Coaching Group ~ Congratulations Alexis for investing in your self and your empire! I have to admit, I did not go for the Diamond, but I did join the next level, the Platinum Coaching Group, and am so excited to continue building my own empire!

    Thank you Alexis, I am looking forward to watching your Star Rise!
    ~Laurie

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