Category Archives: Spirituality

It’s All Perfect, Even Now … An Alt View of Losing Your Job

longing

Image by Darwin Bell via Flickr

Change is happening and for many of us, it’s extremely frightening.

Over 500,000 people lost their jobs in November of 2008, bringing the total for the year to near 2 million jobs lost.

And, it’s all perfect.

How can that be?

Because what emerges from it will be absolutely what we need for to continue our growth and evolution.

You see, so many spend their life relentlessly wondering what’s my purpose, when the answer always is the same … your top purpose/OUR top purpose is to evolve.

And what’s happening right now is the perfect invitation and opportunity to do just that.

If you’ve lost your job, you have the most wonderful opportunity to discover who you are without that identification.

Consider the possibility that your job was blocking you from growing.  Perhaps you had stagnated.  Life as too comfortable and you had entered what Rev. Michael would call the world of “stagnation.”

Well, you aren’t stuck anymore.  You never would have chosen to make this leap on your own, but here you are.

The Universe has made the leap for you and you can either resist it with all your might or you can lean into it.  Accept your new reality. Make the best of it.  And, stay open to the possibility that you are now available to take your life to a whole new level.  One you’ve dreamed about, but thought was too risky to go for.

Now is the time to go for it.  You’ve got everything to gain.

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Balancing, Juggling and Keeping All the Balls in the Air

juggleI’m in the midst of a 2-day planning retreat to map out 2009 and boy, is my life complicated!

My boyfriend lives in Atlanta, where he has two kids of his own.

Fortunately, his business is run from his laptop, which means he can come out to stay with me every other week.  But, he also has a business partner in Richmond he has to go see at least once a month.

Plus, both of us run coaching groups.  Mine are for lawyers who want to  serve their clients in a more holistic, caring way, while they make more money and work less.  His are for business owners and professionals who have something to say and want to make money with their message.

Not to mention, as of right now, I’m speaking at tthree events next year, attending a training to become certified in helping people discover their passions, beginning a course with Reverend Michael at my Church, hosting my own marketing event, writing my second book, attending three live events with my new mentor, and continuing to pitch (or maybe begin?) my television show.

Oh, and of course, taking care of the kids and running my businesses.  AND, perhaps most exciting of all, launching a new business for millionaire mom entrepreneurs or those who want to be.  More on that one soon.

And, of course we will be taking some vacations – on the schedule already we’ve got Mammoth in early February to ski, Chicago over the summer (I know, not the best time of the year), and of course Burning Man!

Whew, what a year!

This kind of a year doesn’t happen without some serious planning.

So, Dave and I spent the entire day yesterday plotting it all out on big fold out calendars from Franklin Covey.

The cool thing is that even with all of that happening, I can feel I’ll have plenty of time and space for myself, to deepen my spiritual practices, to do yoga and pilates, and to spend time alone.

How is that?

It’s all about choices.  I choose to fill my life with things that inspire me, excite me, and fill me with more energy.   And, I let go of all the rest.  Amazingly, the more I do that, the more I find room for more of what I love and supports my highest purpose.

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Filed under Burning Man, Entrepreneurism, Mom-a-rama, Spirituality

Can You Let it Be Okay?

transfor_midLast night, I wrote about an awareness I gained about myself.  But, I didn’t tell you what it is. Truthfully, I was a little embarrassed.

Here it is:

I spend a lot of time analyzing EVERYTHING.  Dave was teasing me about how I even analyzed the Honeymooners TV show (a favorite of his) when we watched it together.  I just couldn’t help but think that Alice was so unhappy with her life.

Quite often, that analyzing mind turns on me and the analysis generally goes something like this:

“Is how I’m feeling okay?  What’s wrong with the way I’m feeling.  Why do I feel this way? Who can I blame for these feelings?  Damn, why’d I have to lash out that way?  What’s wrong with me?  Why do I feel this way if I know everything’s okay?  Why can’t I feel that everything’s okay?”

I know I’m not the only one who has these thoughts.

I also know that it’s these thoughts and feelings that trap people between success in life and a life of suffering.

No matter how much money I have, no matter how famous I become, no matter how many people I help, if I allow mySELF to get trapped by this self-analysis and not accept that sometimes I just don’t feel great and that’s okay, have compassion for it and stop judging it, I will be suffering.

I believe most of us have thoughts that insist there’s something wrong … with the world, with our situations, with ourselves.

My experience is not unique.

When I used my analyzing mind to inquire within instead of getting caught in the circular patterns of why, why, why, I discovered something interesting.

It’s not the thinking and the analysis that causes the suffering.  It’s the not okayness with it.  It’s the moving away from it that causes suffering.

My pattern is to be constantly looking for what’s wrong.  It’s always asking, “is everything okay here?” and then judging the answer.

True freedom comes from the realization that it’s always okay.  Even the frustration, the analysis, and the not remembering these Truths.

Whenever I immerse myself in my spiritual work and spend time in the presence, I am able to shake my head, appreciate (and even laugh at!) the incessant self-analysis and convert it to self-inquiry, have compassion for myself and stop judging what’s happening.

When I do that, I stop asking what’s wrong with this and start to inquire am I okay with what’s happening?

And then, I notice.  As I notice, I begin to experience freedom bit by bit  because now I’m no longer in the midst of the spinning thoughts, but instead observing the insanity.  And perhaps, even laughing at it.

NLP, mind control, positive thinking, affirmations … I’ve tried them all.  I’ve tried everything I can to change my thinking.  But, it just keeps coming back.  Time and time again.

The only thing that stops my suffering is to become okay with it.  Accept it and let it be.  Let it be okay to feel the pain, the sadness, the anger, the hurt.  This too shall pass. Let it be.

Easier said then done you say?

Soon, I’ll share a path I’ve learned that helps a lot.

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Why Self-Awareness Is So Fun

maitreya_face_to_face2

I’ve discovered something about myself tonight.  Something certainly everyone else around me knew.  Everyone but me, that is.

I mean, I guess I knew it.  But, I had no idea how it affected the experience of the people around me.  Tonight, for a quick second I glimpsed it.

I stood outside of myself and laughed at my self.  That’s the best part about self awareness.  It’s the humor it brings to the situation.

*image courtesy of my absolute favorite artist, Paul Huessenstam of http://www.Mandalas.com.

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What To Do When It’s Thanksgiving And You Aren’t Feeling Grateful

turkeyIt’s the eve of Thanksgiving and truthfully I’m not feeling particularly grateful at the moment.   And of course I feel guilty for not feeling grateful because honestly I have so freakin’ much to be grateful for.

My loving boyfriend and I took my kids to see the magical night of lights in a nearby town and ate tons of junk food and rode lots of rides.  Despite the fact that the kids complained and bickered the whole way back (payback for the years of bickering me and my sister subjected our parents to), it was a fantastic night.

We dropped $100+ on food and entertainment without batting an eye and with everything going on the world right now that alone is something to be grateful about.

I’m in Atlanta visiting my honey, who is my dream guy in so many ways, and we’ll introduce our children to each other tomorrow night for the first time.  And last night his ex intimated that she may even be willing to meet me one day, something I’ve hoped would happen for quite a while.  More to be grateful about.

I have an amazing team supporting me both at home and in my business and a great relationship with my ex-husband for the first time in years, all of which allows me to be an empire-building mommy and know that my kids and my house will be well cared for even when I’m traveling and working.

I’m appearing regularly on TV and just got an email from someone who saw me on CNBC tonight without me even telling them I was going to be on. And, Tuesday I’ll be in the Better TV studios taping my weekly segments.

Earlier today I got to spend time coaching a friend off the ledge of a potential legal nightmare that could have blown up her life had she taken her lawyer’s advice and into a space of love and acceptance for what is that could show her a whole new purpose for the events that have led up to the situation.

My family is healthy, safe and secure and they love me.

Feeling grateful because you should and actually feeling gratitude are two very different experiences.  So, why am I not feeling all of that gratitude inside my body?   And, am I insane for admitting it here when everyone else is posting their cheery “what I’m grateful for today” messages?

More importantly, why am I posting it here?

I’m posting it here because I believe my awareness about this may help you.  Because maybe you have a lot to feel grateful for as well and yet you aren’t feeling it and don’t know why.  And, because this blog is about being afraid and doing it anyway.

I’m not feeling grateful in my body though all outward appearances suggest I should be dancing in the streets and screaming in joy because I have not been doing a good job of taking care of myself physically, emotionally or spiritually.   And when I don’t take care of myself, it doesn’t matter how great things look on the outside, they start to crumble on the inside.

For the past three days, I have eaten horribly and done no exercise at all.  I have not really meditated.  Not gotten enough sleep.  Allowed my attention to be focused on small things that take me away from my greater purpose.  And, realized that a huge part of my purpose is to bring more faith and love into people’s lives and I’m so caught up in my money-making business ventures that I’m not investing my time or energy on what brings true meaning to my life everyday – sharing my faith in God, the Universe, Spirit, Love.

Worst of all, I’ve convinced myself that it’s fine not to do the things I know are important because it’s the holidays and we are traveling and …. well, you know the rationalization drill, don’t you?

It’s a long, sad road to ingratitude is what it is.  Fortunately, the road back can be short and gleeful.

Here’s what helped me.

Just sitting down and writing all of this out helped tremendously because it was a visual reminder of all that I have to be grateful for and oftentimes you just need to write it down to really feel it.

Next, I’ve made a commitment to myself that tomorrow I am going to exercise, no matter what.  My body is already getting excited about that.

Last, before I go to bed tonight, I am going to write the outline for my next book, which I got the inspiration for tonight: From Fear Into Faith: The Step by Step Guide to Co-Creating the Life of Your Dreams.

So, if it’s Thanksgiving and you aren’t feeling particularly grateful, know that you are not alone and there’s nothing wrong with you.  Know as well that it’s a sign that there’s some incongruity happening in your life (a disconnect between what you really want and what you are allowing yourself to create) and there are concrete action steps you can take right now to turn it around.

Go get a pen and paper and give me 10 minutes of your time.  I’ll get you into gratitude and give you an action plan for living everyday from here out gratefully.

Ready?  Here we go.

Right now, take a deep breath and now another.  Allow the feeling of your breath make it’s way down into the deepest part of your belly and feel how the warmth of your breath radiates from your core and caresses the inside of the skin of your arms all the way to your fingers and the inside of the skin of your legs down to your toes.

Now, do that again.

Write down one good thing happening in your life.  Now, another.  Then, as many as you can.  If it’s only one, that’s okay.  Focus your attention on that thing and take another deep, cleansing breath.  The kind that you can feel all the way into the base of your lower back.

Ok, now, from that place, write down the first answer that comes to your mind that answers this question: if you knew you’d be successful doing anything in the world and money was of zero concern, what would you be doing?

Last, commit to yourself that everyday for now on you will do something that gets you closer to doing whatever that thing is.  Write down that commitment to yourself, fold up the piece of paper you wrote on and put it somewhere you’ll see it frequently, like in your wallet, where you’ll see it when you want to spend money to compensate for not doing what your purpose is.

The next time you are not feeling grateful, pull out that piece of paper and renew your commitment to yourself.  You deserve it.

Ah, doesn’t that feel better?  Grateful now?  I am.  Thanks.

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Filed under Moving Beyond Fear, Spirituality

Kaia Makes Her On Camera Debut

Kaia is in the children’s choir at Agape International Spiritual Center (our church). Yes, it’s awesome to get to attend church every Sunday and be inspired by the Reverend Michael Beckwith, one of the teachers from the movie the Secret.

Anyway, the kids choir recorded a music video to inspire people to vote.

Here it is:

Can you see which one is her?

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Filed under Mom-a-rama, Spirituality

Going Within Again …. Come Along?

Over the past 5 years, as I’ve built first my law firm and now the Family Wealth Planning Institute, I’ve noticed cycles during which I’ve focused heavily on the business and other times in which I’ve focused more internally.

None of the business stuff would have (or could have) happened at all had I not first done some serious internal healing that allowed me to grow in awareness, wake up to my Truth and step into my authentic self.

This email below from my good friend, Max Simon, founder of the SelfCentered movement explains way better than I ever could why this is so important.

This past weekend I got to spend time with Max at one of his SelfCentered events (where I got to take part in both a drum circle and a public display of meditation!) and I feel myself entering back into a cycle where my businesses are running really well and need me less and I am ready to go within again.

When you go within, you find a space where everything is possible.  It’s the precursor to everything else you want in life.

Here’s why:

===============================

“I like what you’re saying but I have a question, what does
awareness even mean?”

This is the question I got from a sweet young college girl
this weekend during the Yoga Month Festival where we had our
own 1800 square foot tent. After a few moments, I responded
with “Awareness means being willing to look; at yourself, at
your life, and at the world. But instead of seeing only what
you want, you see what is, and instead of reacting like you
have, you respond in a new way that supports and lifts up
everyone and everything.”

As though she had been in this conversation a thousand times
before, she immediately responded with: “But it doesn’t feel
good when I look at those things. Everything I see scares
me. How do I become aware when I feel so scared?”

“Look deeper.”

Our (external) world is in a scary place right now. The
political battlefield is raging out of control, the economy
has filed for workers compensation, and people’s stress
levels are rising by the minute.

Take a deep breath with me: Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.

With the world in chaos, NOW is the time to dive deeper into
your self
. Regardless of what’s happening outside of you,
there is a place inside of you that is calm, cool, and
connected; aka selfcentered. It’s always THERE. It’s always
OK. It’s always SAFE.

Going inside during these troubled times helps. Why? Because
it puts things in perspective. Though the outside world is
spinning out of control, the world inside is peaceful.
While our actions from the past might have been
the catalyst for our troubled times today, you see that new
creative choices are immediately available as you quiet the
mind chatter and open up to what’s possible.

Marianne Williamson once said: “You can’t solve the problems
of the world from the same state of consciousness that
created them.” I whole-heartedly agree, and with that in
mind, this is my challenge to you:

Meditate every single day without fail. Do it for you, do it
for your friends, do it for the world. If you don’t meditate
every day, contact us and we’ll get you on-track. If you
have a practice, stay strong with it. If you see people
struggling, send them our way. If there is one thing the
world needs right now, it’s to stay calm and centered within
the midst of chaos.

Much love,

Max Simon
Founder, Chief Enlightenment Officer
www.getselfcentered.com

PS: If you need a little break from the intensity of your
world, we have 3 spots left at our meditation retreat on
October 10-12 in LA. This weekend is so powerful, so sweet,
and so deep. Please contact us for details.

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Filed under Moving Beyond Fear, Spirituality